To the boy I love,
Where do I even begin? Let me start by saying this: Thank you. You’ve given me more than I could have ever asked for from anyone. You were the first human being to own my entire heart; to grab hold of it without the possibility of ever letting go. You are the reason for my purpose in life; why I am exactly who I’ve always dreamt of being. You gave me the one thing I’ve always wanted more than anything else in the world. My personal little genie in a bottle, granting me my biggest wish. You made me a mother.
I’m so grateful to you for allowing me to experience this beautiful journey (and all that it entails) for the first time. I got to feel you move and grow inside me. I gave birth to you and experienced the indescribable moment of finally meeting you; of holding your tiny body in my arms and looking into your beautiful eyes. You were born and suddenly, I was too. I watched (and helped) you learn to crawl, walk and talk. You’ve been my reason for countless sleepless nights and smile-filled days. You’ve given me cherished memories that will stay with me forever and perfect moments that made life worth living. You’ve educated me, you’ve inspired me, you’ve challenged me and changed me, and you’ve made me grow as a person and a parent. I’m so thankful for each and every second we’ve had up until now, and for the millions we’ll share in the future. What a wonderfully wild ride we’ve been on so far, kid.
For the past 4 years, we’ve been a team. We’ve built a friendship that can’t compare to any relationship I’ve ever had with an adult. Just the two of us, traveling the world together – not literally, but in our own way. Reading books that take us to faraway places…playing make-believe and pretending we’re characters in another realm. We’ve done so much in such a short time, and we haven’t even begun to touch the surface yet. You are my very best friend and that will never change. And although I know I won’t always be yours (no hard feelings), just know that you’ll always be mine.
Now our lives are about to change. Our family is going to grow as we welcome your baby sister, and we will have to adjust to a new normal. Some days will be easy while others may be hard, but together I know we’ll find our way to a beautiful new place; one I can’t wait to dive into and explore with you. My heart will forever hold onto that special time when it was just you and me, and now I’m so excited to take on this next chapter with you by my side. It will be our greatest adventure yet.
Being your mom is the biggest joy of my life, and I can’t wait to experience even more of that happiness when your new sibling comes along. But I need you to know something – I couldn’t do this without you. Because of you, I’ve been molded into the mommy that I am today; the one I’ve been for you, and the one I’ll continue to be for you both for the rest of my life. You’ve given me the tools I need to be successful at this whole “mom life” thing. If it weren’t for you, I never would have learned how to truly love someone more than myself…and without you, my heart now wouldn’t know how to open up and love another. You’re the reason I can do this.
I will learn how to be a great mom to both you and your “sissy.” I’ll learn because you’ll teach me…just the same way you’ve been teaching me from the very beginning. I promise I will be better than ever before – just be patient with me. I might struggle at times, lose my patience or fall short…but I promise that I’ll always be doing the very best I can. I’m not perfect (as you already know), but I’ll continue to give everything I have and then some. Remember that I love you both so much more than you’ll ever know, and my heart has already doubled in size. Don’t worry – there’s more than enough room for two.
I know you won’t be my only one for much longer. You weren’t my last… but baby boy, you will forever be my first. My first born, my first son, and the first true love of my life. That’s something no one else in the world can claim as theirs – it belongs to you and only you, always. Please don’t ever forget that.
Thank you for blessing me with a love so pure that my heart begged for more. You are, and will always be, the reason I know what love is.
Forever,
Your one & only mama.
The Healing Mom Project 